New underwear needed

ExeFile 2014-09-27 20-48-23-22This was a bloody expensive ship too:)

Voice proceedure


VP for short is the art of talking on a radio net (or in our case TS) in a way that:

1. Gets info across clearly and concisely.

2. Prioritises transmission for those who need it and,

3. Minimises he chances of you going bonkers from dozens of people talking at once.

This really is a skill you should learn if you are going to pvp, it can make the difference between winning and loosing but also between enjoying a roam and it driving you nuts. I am a bit of a comms nazi having spent ten years in the British army on very complicated radio nets with different people speaking in different ears and I know how frustrating it can be when people just blurt stuff out without thinking.

The rules on comms are pretty simple really, for a start just treat it as a normal conversation with a friend. You wouldn’t interrupt someone you were talking to face to face so don’t do it here. Rule 1 is listen before you talk, if you spam over the top of someone then neither will be heard and you loose time because both people will have to repeat what they were saying, it’s also rude.

Rule 2 is always speak in the third person, never say “me”, no-one knows who me is and it is wasted transmission time. “Johnny has point, warp Johnny” is quick, accurate and repeats the name to make sure.

Keep it short and don’t waffle when a fight is on. I very much enjoy flying with experienced guys because they know exactly what info needs to be conveyed and do so in a relaxed manner. The rest of the time we are just blethering away like old women but as soon as a fight is on the comms immediately becomes efficient for the duration then it’s back to gossiping.

Learn what needs to be said, blurting out “pilgrim on scan” is pointless, everyone will be monitoring dscan and will see it too, if you can narrow it down to a celestial however then speak up. Telling your fleet that a ship has arrived on grid with you is likewise pointless – your fleet will have seen it.

Voice comms varies greatly depending on the experience level of your fleet, a bunch of newbies will be overexcited and verbose so you will need to quieten them down a bit whereas languid bittervets sometimes forget to call point and just solo whatever they have found. If you find yourself on a new comms server then listen a lot before you speak, try to fit in with their way of doing things and you won’t stick out like a sore thumb.

Hope this helps..

Found on a friend’s bio..

First letter of each named target painter:

Partial Weapon Navigation = pwn
Peripheral Weapon Navigation Diameter = pwnd
Parallel Weapon Navigation Transmitter = pwnt
Phased Weapon Navigation Array Generation Extron = pwnage

Courtesy of Dwaigon Aumer, if this made you smile send him a few ISK.

Shitty crappy internet drama

Well bloody hell, fucking space drama strikes again. A couple of days ago I was happily running a thriving lowsec corp and now I am on the hunt for a new one.

Here is the story (which is idiotic in the extreme) – basically one of the directors had a good old rant at me on the forums and I wasn’t in the mood for nonsensical allegations written in grammar which is worse than that of my eleven year old nephew. This guy had basically been backbiting ever since I became CEO at the wish of everyone except him and I was sick and tired of it to the extent that I wasn’t really undocking much.

I was pretty grumpy at the time and snapped and basically said “well fuck off then, if you want it so much you do it” I made him CEO on the spot and resigned all my roles.

Bit of backstory here, I was super proud when I became a Bastard the first time round and only left when the genius mentioned above took the corp to nullsec and it fell apart, having to be merged into Shadow Cartel to stay alive (thanks mucho for that Bagger, we owe you) I returned about a year ago and with Ana we rebuilt the corp to the thriving community it is today. In a stroke I have probably undone all that work but it came down to a decision that I just couldn’t fly with a guy who constantly undermined everything I said.

Why not just demote the bugger, or boot him you say? Well I could but firstly I don’t think you should abuse authority like that and secondly the backbiting would have intensified massively, resulting eventually in a popularity contest and then probably a corp split, all doing terrible damage to the corp. Far better to be the bigger man, avoid space drama and move on.

I do feel guilty for leaving the guys in the lurch, I’ll miss them like hell and have had so many nice emails and texts that I now wonder whether I did the right thing but what’s done is done and he will never give up the CEO title now he has it. I will always be proud to have been a Bastard but it looks like my future lies elsewhere.

So, where? The answer is that I have no idea really. I have asked Sulei if he will have me back in the Tuskers and asked Bagger if he would have me at Shadow. Both have advantages and disadvantages. I would really like to try out the big shiny stuff at Shadow but my heart is probably more with the small gang Tuskers stuff. I have great memories of taking small 3-5 man gangs out and absolutely murdering everything in sight regardless of size or composition (those guys are good).

I also had the idea in the shower this morning to take a month or so out and just go to highsec, find some poor newbs who had been wardecced, turn them into stone cold killers, and then set them loose on the deccers. Who knows?

Starting to FC

FC’s are the heart of your corp, with a few exceptions such as the committed solo guys at Hayabusa, much of your corp will not enjoy soloing as much as flying with a fleet. This is fair, it is more sociable, fun and you can take on a wider range of targets but it relies on having enough guys willing to step up and lead. If you only have a small number of them then burnout is a big problem.

This is such a complicated subject and everyone will approach it differently but I will try to jot down a few ideas to help out new FCs.

Firstly, do not get up tight about it. You may be worrying that you are going to loose everyone’s ships (and you will eventually) but they are all just happy to not have to do this. You are already the guy who is creating content so take some pride in it. The only way to learn is by doing so step up.

Know your targets, you can’t FC if you have not flown and fought a wide range of ships. Knowing how those vexors are fit and how they are flown will allow you to beat them.

Develop a style, some are overbearing micromanagers and some are easygoing – the ideal will be somewhere in between obviously and will depend on your fleet. My fleets are never expensive or formed for some huge strategic importance so we are focussed on having fun. If you are dropping a pile of titans you may wish to be more serious.

Can’t emphasize this one enough, repeat important instructions calmly, keep feeding info and adjust the way you say it slightly. We all play with people from a huge range of countries and occasionally confuse each other with accents. For example “primary Bob in the rifter, B-O-B, rifter is primary”. Spelling the first three letters  of complicated gate names is a good trick too. Remember no-one wants to pipe up on comms to ask “who was primary again?” so keep feeding the info and it can make the difference between winning and loosing, the guys will also thank you for not having to ask again and look like a prat. Keep your voice calm and slow as much as possible.

Don’t sweat target calling, pick something high dps (or ewar) and get stuck into it, while that one is going down you can start looking for secondaries and lining them up in your head for destruction. If something is tanking like a beast don’t be afraid to primary something else. You MUST make sure everyone is hitting the primary too – new players will concentrate on people shooting them or closer but it is imperative everyone shoots the primary otherwise what’s the point of an FC, you might as well all yolo in there. Shout if the damage is split because this will loose you the fight.

Have an idea of what your fleet want to get out of the roam, if everyone has just shipped up into shinies then don’t take the first outnumbered fight you can. Try to get some fair fights before the potential wipeout. Piling into a big outnumbered fight is for the end of the evening when you’re going home with plenty of kills and loot already. Then it’s fun and will either be a glorious victory against the odds or ships which have paid for themselves anyway.

Start to get an idea of positioning, you should be zoomed right out with the overlay on in most fights and as you fly bigger stuff, the positioning of your fleet becomes more important. Always be zoomed right out and try to spot stragglers from your fleet or potential isolated targets from the enemy one.

The hardest bit of FCing is to basically have the fleet acting as one larger entity rather than a number of  separate ships. You do this with timing, clear instructions and getting your idea across quickly and effectively. Ultimately how you do this is down to personal style and the type of fleets you run but the points above will apply to most situations.

Random drunken violence


Last nights monday roam was pretty chaotic even by our standards. We were about to set off in frigs as usual when Nash, who is never content with cheap ships:), decided he wanted to take cruisers. At this point I had been drinking some delicious and very strong home brew so said “fuck it, bring what you like”.

We therefore assembled a hodge-podge of cruisers and frigs, shield and armour, led by nash in his scouting/bait cyclone (after robbing corp hangar of its last blue pill) and headed off to start a fight.

Before we got out of system we got intel of a proteus and some recons heading into system so lazy and I legged it back to reship into a couple of augorers we found in corp locker. They turned out to have salvagers in the highs instead of energy transfers but hey what the hell – there were shines to explode so we legged it back to gate quick.

The shinies didn’t materialise so we pushed on and found a Cane on gate which got blapped quickly enough but lit a cyno. At this point our command and control is out the window, we have guys taking gate guns in shield frigs with armour logi cruisers (without cap transfers), I’m driving a logi which I am bad at but also can’t FC while I’m doing it so several of the other guys are FCing at different times. The drop happens but a pretty ragtag fleet drops through consisting of a couple of T3s, a bomber and I think two stratios. By this point of course we are expecting PL and the order to bail has been given but then there is some discussion and a couple of our guys get dropped in the confusion. Bugger – round one to the droppers.

We however scrape together what we had left and pile back for round two because, apart from anything else, there was some decent loot on the field. Bit more composed this time we get stuck in and drop a bomber, stratios, deimos, another bomber and then their loki, which was not bad considering the outrageous kitchen sink fleet we had. I don’t think we took any losses either this time although Lazy’s Aug was getting a proper kicking from the deimos and my entire top rack was melting trying to keep him up.

After a break for more beer and Nash to divvy out the loot to those who had lost ships we messed about a bit in Hadozeko between two other fleets and again bad coordination cost us a few losses, it was one of those chaotic nights where no-one is really in charge, there are lots of guys on comms who don’t know each other, and plenty of afkers, which is fun occasionally but not to be made a habit of.

The tricky part is keeping a roam relaxed enough that guys can talk and have a laugh when not fighting but strict enough that the fleet is still capable of coordinated action. I think we are too used to fast frigates which can be warped and got into position quickly – cruisers are slower and therefore require more discipline. 

That said everyone had a bloody good laugh – we blew up about a bill of ships for loosing a handful of cruisers and frigs and scooped about 70 mill of loot which probably paid for most of the losses. We will do cruisers again but I wont be in a logi:)

Alliance tournament


I really only got interested in AT last year and remember roaring at the screen watching Turn Left trying to break PL’s tinker tengu. It didn’t happen unfortunately and PL went on to win.

This year I managed to watch most of the first weekend matches despite some fairly determined girlfriend aggro and I enjoyed it a lot. The first thing that struck me is that a lot of my lowsec mates are in it this year which is kinda cool, I don’t know why but this year we have Tuskers, 7-2, The Devil’s Warriors, Turn Left, Scum and of course Shadow. With the exception of Scum I have friends in all these corps and fly with them when I can so am taking more notice than I otherwise would.

Obviously I am hugely biased, and living in lowsec as I do think that most nullseccers are brain-dead F1 mashers who couldn’t create content to save themselves. This of course is not true, pretty much all the past winners of the AT are nullsec teams so they must have a few decent pilots but here is the difference.

A large doctrine fleet such as seen in null acts more as a single giant entity, with cap and reps flowing about through the fleet and damage pouring out of it whereas a small lowsec gang is very much more independent, a collection of ships all capable of separate action or coming together to act cohesively. The AT seems to me to be more like the former, albeit far more finely tuned, despite the small size.

I think the first time lowsec guys will be at a disadvantage this year due to lack of AT experience but I actually think they will do well. Sulei for instance is a bloody good pilot and a great theory crafter – I know how much time he put into our T1 cruiser fits so god knows how much time he spent on AT. Their big advantage is of course the fact that they can all manually fly very well, nullsec does not teach you this skill and I can’t wait for the inevitable big upsets.

Highlights of the first weekend:

  • Tuskers stomping Cyno Field Theory
  • Feign Disorder doing a good number on the Unthinkables despite loosing their logi early on.
  • I missed Devil’s Warriors loosing to Solar but fingers crossed they can do OK in the other bracket
  • Also missed Camel club but no doubt they totally routed whoever they were fighting
  • Shadow had a cracking fight, highlight was Floppy surviving in 4% hull
  • Scum I seem to remember made Noir look pretty silly (why do they never do well?)
  • Hydra were amazing, never seen such a kicking
  • No Holes Barred were also pretty impressive

The other good thing to see was the lack of sentry drones which have largely been replaced with Geckoes. The meta still seems to be really drone heavy though.


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